🗺️ State of the States
Welcome to the "State of the States," where we lovingly reduce decades of educational legacy into four neat toggles and a color-coded map.
This interactive heatmap shows the average performance of private universities by state across four survival metrics:
- 🔥 Market Saturation — Are they drowning in competition or sipping students from a solo cup?
- 📘 Academic Efficiency — How effectively are they turning teaching into degrees?
- 💰 Financial Health — Our take on the notoriously flawed Composite Financial Index (CFI), lovingly adjusted and stripped of its accounting fluff.
- 🧠 Survivability — A weighted combo of the above. The Hunger Games of Higher Ed.
Click the toggles to switch between metrics and see how your favorite state is faring. Greener, bluer states are holding their own. Redder ones? Let’s just say they should consider fire drills.
🔍 What This Map Tells Us (Other Than Who Needs a Hug)
A few spicy insights:
- Northeastern states are feeling the heat. They’ve got legacy schools stacked like cordwood, but fewer teenagers to teach and plenty of overhead.
- Midwestern states show more range. Some are adapting, others are running fiscal marathons with roller skates.
- Southern states often perform well — less market saturation, decent efficiency, and tuition that doesn’t trigger a GoFundMe.
- Mountain and Plains states? Sparse, but surprisingly stable. Turns out, fewer schools + fewer people = accidental sustainability.
This map doesn’t show individual universities — just the average outlook in each state. But if your state is glowing red… maybe don’t open a liberal arts college there in 2028.
If you think this is a bit much, just wait for our next installment: The Denomination Deathmatch.